Darlene Ifill-Taylor, MD, LFAPA
So you want to change things up. Your day to day life doesn't do it for you anymore or it never did. The job you thought was going to be great has some negatives that are not sustainable. Or your interests have changed, or you've acquired new skills. Or you've acquired some wisdom that you didn't have when you made the decision to live where you live, work where you work, or be with who you are with.
Change is often so difficult. We tend to want to stay on the same treadmill that we've been on. It's doable. Maybe the change we want is asking too much? Maybe there's consequence in making this fresh start we want. What if it's a mistake? What if the next job is worse, what if we're lonely when we end this relationship? What if we don't "deserve" the new thing?
Two things are for sure. Without making a move- you are sure of what you're dealing with, and if you make the move you will have to make some adjustments.
There are a few steps to making a successful fresh start. And here they are:
If the fresh start is based on what someone else did-think again. The need for a positive change will usually stir up in you-if you're listening to yourself. Someone else's need for change at a given time is not necessarily yours. Listen to your gut.
Imagine the ideal of where you want to end up. Place yourself in it. Smile while you do it.
Put out of your mind your fear that you don't deserve it. You're a good person who has made mistakes. Could this be one of them? Maybe. But keep following the steps.
Seek Wise Counsel. Wise counsel is the most trustworthy people you know. People who have only been happy for your success. Not the friends or family who you have not wanted to accept are jealous of you or are resentful of you. Those who are blessed when you're blessed. Good parents, (and you should know the difference by now), are an excellent source of wise counsel. They have been wanting good for you since before you were born. Remember, I'm referring to GOOD parents. It's the same for trustworthy siblings and friends.
5. Pray about it. Whatever your religion or lack thereof, the universe works in ways that are beyond our understanding
6. Start to look and see if what you might want exists. If so- connect the dots from where you are now to where you want to be. What do you have to put in place to make this fresh start successful for you. These are things like, getting an additional certification, loosing some weight, networking, starting to train a coworker in what you do or learning from a coworker to acquire additional skills, going back to school, eating better, getting enough sleep, etc. You can get from here to there but probably not without number 7.
7. Prepare to sacrifice. It is rare that we move on to a fresh start without loosing something. Examples are proximity to loved ones, a partner whom we have loved in the past, job security, our present daily coworkers, the habit ( and seemingly the security) of our present lives.
If you want it- odds are you can have it. Just start walking it out. Bon voyage!